Remember the first day of the last industry conference you attended? If you’re like most professionals, you probably spent the first hour hovering near the coffee station, checking your phone to look busy, and hoping nobody asks a question it’s too early to try to answer. Reserved, nervous excitement, and really, what it comes down to, playing it safe to get comfortably through the first few sessions.
Have you ever noticed (perhaps with jealousy) the attendees who do the exact opposite?
In this episode of Let’s Talk Shop with Matthew Ulmer, resident overthinker Matt sits down with Joseph Casiano, Digital Marketing Specialist at GMM Pfaudler, to explore how letting go of the need to look like an “expert” is the secret to building genuine workplace confidence, a stronger network, and a better career. (We also talk about how Joseph sang karaoke in front of a room of strangers in a marketing conference session.)
The Shift from “Knowing More” to “Learning More”
In a professional environment, we can sometimes be conditioned to believe that our value is tied to our infallibility. As Joseph points out, you’re expected to mess up in school — you’re learning, right — but at work…
You’re hired to be the knowledgeable person. It might be okay to look bad reading Of Mice and Men aloud in an English class, but stumble through a marketing report in front of your peers and execs and, suddenly the next time your boss asks to talk to you, you assume it’s to be chastised if not fired.
But here’s the rub: because we want to look intelligent and informed, we often inhibit ourselves. We shrink away and listen when we aren’t 100% sure of an answer. While there is value in listening, Joseph argues that passive listening has a major flaw: if you never put forth what you know, no one can provide guided instruction to fill in the specific gaps in your knowledge.
The hallmark of real workplace confidence isn’t walking into a room knowing everything. It’s accepting the fact that sometimes you’re going to be wrong, and viewing that as an opportunity rather than a deficit.
“Maybe I’m the smartest in the room, maybe I’m not. But I’m prepared to be the dumbest person in the room if it means that I’ll have the opportunity to learn from it.” — Joseph Casiano
The Trap of the “Know-It-All” Mentality
Early in a career, it’s easy to trap ourselves into thinking we need to have all the answers at a baseline level. Joseph admits he didn’t start out with effortless confidence. He hated being wrong and loved being right, and only looking back now can he break down two distinct ways to approach professional interactions:
The “Know-It-All” Deficit: Entering every room determined to prove your correctness and expertise. Especially for young professionals, this mentality closes doors, alienates peers, and burns bridges. Nobody likes a know-it-all, and teams want people who are eager to learn.
Productive Selfishness: Flipping social anxiety on its head, most social anxiety stems from a slightly narcissistic fear of how we will be perceived (“are they judging my shoes or what I say?”). Productive selfishness keeps the focus on yourself, but flips the goal: “I don’t care what they walk away thinking of me; I’m going to walk away having gained a new tactic, strategy, or perspective from them.”
It’s a modern spin on a classic Benjamin Franklin lesson. As a young man, Franklin was a notorious know-it-all until he realized that instead of telling people, “No, you’re wrong,” he could say, “Well, I always thought it was this way…” He got his point across, invited collaboration, and didn’t look like a jerk doing it.
Key Takeaways for Building Workplace Confidence
Whether you’re working the room at a massive marketing conference or speaking up in an internal department meeting, here are a few ways to put Joseph’s mindset into practice:
Never Fear Being Wrong the First Time: You should be afraid of being wrong the same way every time, but never the first time. Take corrections with grace and you’ll walk away having gained a new perspective.
Take an Improv or Theater Class: Joseph recommends theater or improv to every professional. It trains you to stop being so self-conscious, to get comfortable saying what’s at the top of your head, and to adjust on the fly.
Rely on Adjacent Experts: Marketing—and business in general—is too vast and psychology-driven for any single person to master alone. Accepting that your coworkers are smarter than you in different areas is how effective organizations actually function.
Go in with a Plan (and Repeat It): You might be nervous the first time—or the first hundred times—you introduce yourself to a stranger. Commit to a simple plan: Learn one new thing at this table. Confidence is born out of repeatedly proving to yourself you can do it.
Lead with Passion Over Technical Skill: When Joseph got up to sing a jingle at that marketing conference, he wasn’t worried about vocal perfection. People rarely ridicule someone who does something with all of their heart. They tune in for fun and the emotion rather than the technical skill.
Leave the Room Knowing More
Building a network, connecting with coworkers, and impressing leadership doesn’t require an impenetrable corporate armor. To succeed, build the discipline to make one small mental shift:
Instead of coming into a situation needing to know more, commit to leaving the situation knowing more.
Give yourself the license to speak up, to embrace the occasional wrong answer, and to not be afraid to grab the karaoke mic when the opportunity presents itself. In a workplace full of people trying to look smart, the willingness to learn is your biggest competitive advantage.
Want more candid conversations on marketing, leadership, and career growth? Be sure to listen, like, and subscribe to Let’s Talk Shop with Matthew Ulmer on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode!
